What to do when things don't go according to plan

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So, I keep a little list on my phone of all the random things that pop into my head throughout the week. My blog list.

And as I’ve just sat down at my desk to scroll through the list I deleted one that I have already used. But, like a knobhead, it deleted the entire file instead. (Don’t ask me how. Stuff like that always happens with me and technology. One of the down sides of having a strong energy field 😂 I can’t even wear a watch🤦‍♀️)

So, this week, lets talk about when things don’t go according to plan. If you’re anything like me, you’ve probably got this big vision of how you want your life to be. Of all the things you want to be, do and have. That’s the big vision. But on a day to day basis we also have a mental list of all the little things we need to be, do and have too.

So when things don’t go according to plan, it can piss you right off.

Now, me losing my blogs is a pretty big deal to be honest. It’s months worth of ideas and insights (Some of them drunken insights too) It helps me help the world and helps people find me. But it actually hasn’t bothered me losing it because one of the hardest lessons I’ve had to learn is the Art of Surrender. It took two life threatening situations and months of bed rest in order for this lesson to sink in to my stubborn, pretty little head.

But what I learned from those very traumatic experiences was that: I am a control freak. I like to micro manage. And when things don’t go according to plan. It stresses me out. BIG TIME.

However, what I also (eventually) learned was that the reason I needed to micro manage was because there had been times in my life (like nearly being raped) where things were massively out of control and it made me afraid. But I react to fear with a fighters response. So when I’m afraid, I get angry. So when things don’t go according to plan, subconsciously, my fight or flight response triggers, I feel agitated, and I get narky. (Nothing like a good old cortisol adrenaline cocktail to shake up your day, is there?)

But, and here’s the biggie: the last time I was stuck in hospital (for 90 days) I came to realise that pushing all the time doesn’t work for me. I work better in Flow.

So I’ve found that life is a much more pleasant experience if we think of our goals as an island. A destination. Somewhere we want to end up. Eventually.

Life is an adventure and there isn’t much fun going directly from A straight to B so I want you to think of yourself as a Captain on an old pirate ship (Go on, I dare ya’ )

You can see your island on the horizon. You know where it is. It’s not going anywhere. It might slip out of view now and again, but it hasn’t disappeared. Right?

Now some people (like before me) would paddle hell bent to go straight forward. And as the tide carried me further away id be like “NOoooo. For fucks sake I need to go this way. Aggggghhhh!” But you know what?

That was the fear talking.

Fear that I wouldn’t make it.

Fear that something bad was going to happen.

Fear that it was all out of control.

Fear because I didn’t know what was coming next.

And that my dears is the crux of the problem.

When things don’t go according to our plan we feel like we’ve lost control. And when we’ve lost control, we feel we’ve become weak and vulnerable.

It’s not a conscious thing. It’s a fight or flight warning bell going off at the wrong time.

And what I didn’t realise, and you probably haven’t either, is that those anxieties can show up in the smallest detail. Running out of milk. The kids being late for school. Not being able to go down the road you always go down or missing your train. (OCD anyone?)

Or even not being able to get your usual brand of coffee and finding yourself hunting round the supermarket like an angry Neanderthal. Fuming.

Because something changed.

And you weren’t expecting it. 

So (for some of us) anxiety kicks in, masked as anger or frustration.

When I was in hospital, I had absolutely no choice but to put my trust in everyone else to keep me and my baby safe. I couldn’t micro manage anything. Instead I had to learn to let go and endure. But from that experience, I learned that actually, we don’t need to sweat the small stuff. Or even the large stuff for that matter. Because change is inevitable.

So eventually I chose to let go of the fear.

And it has to be a conscious choice. Because really, that’s the only thing you can actually change.

The only choice there is really.

Because we are meant to get to our island. It’s just that sometimes where meant to take the scenic route. Because while you’re looking over there you’re not seeing what’s over here.

I know it’s hard to let go. To trust that there is a plan for you.

But my experiences taught me it’s ok for you to go with the flow. Nothing bad will happen. And if it does, you’re a tough cookie right? You know you can deal with it. You’ll adapt and overcome it.

So the next time things don’t go according to plan, take a step back and remember its ok to surrender to fate. The tide might be pulling you a different way, but that’s ok. You’re just going on a detour. Even if it’s something as simple as having to catch a different bus.

Because the minute you let go and surrender to the flow, you’ll stop pushing. And instead you’ll learn to take in the scenery and just happily bob along, enjoying the journey.

The Power of Faith

So over Christmas I thought it would be a good idea to talk about faith. But to be completely honest, I moved house, so  I ended up taking December off (one of the joys of being self employed) And as we fall into the energetic lift of the new year, I find myself still pondering the power of faith. So here it is:

You are enough.

When I talk about faith I don’t mean religion. Faith is a huge part of religion obviously, but what I have discovered on my little’ol’ souls journey is that most religions, at their core, preach the same core lessons. Love, forgiveness and overcoming adversity. Faith comes in many shapes and forms but when we think of faith we automatically think of religion. But faith and religion are two different things. I bumped into a Born Again Christian the other day which inspired this blog. When I told her I communicate with spirit, she looked at me like I was the Devil! She thought my poor little soul had been corrupted. Until I pointed out that I have had my gifts since I was a child which I believe was definitely a gift from God. I’m a healer through and through. That stumped her a bit! But it got me thinking again about the power of faith and how it has been overshadowed by religion.

I believe in the ever lasting power and development of my soul. One that doesn’t need to sit on a big old fluffy cloud feeling peaceful and happy forever and a day. I’m a go’getter; even on a soul level. So I can see (and anyone who knows me personally would know) that I probably got really bored, really quickly, hanging round fluffy clouds all day and night. So I definitely believe in multiple lives. Energy is never created or destroyed, it just changes form. Scientific fact.

I’m very much in to science (yes im a geek and damn proud of it) and I’m very much into the law of attraction too. One of the ‘secrets’ of the law of attraction and manifestation is faith. And as I am (slowly) starting to get better at flexing my manifestation muscle, I realised that as an entrepreneur you have to have massive amounts of faith in yourself. And I think this is where religion and spiritual people and scientist all come at loggerheads.

Religious people believe power comes from an external source. Spiritual people also believe the same but usually in the form of guardian angels and spirit teams as opposed to one almighty God. (Yes I know religious people believe in Angels or ‘higher beings’ too but I’m trying to keep it simple here!) Scientist believe in the power of physics; of the ebb and flow of molecules that form and flow in a (hopefully) predictable manner. (Except for ya’know Chaos Theory and all’that)

But I’ve come to learn that actually your beliefs, whatever they are, are correct for you. No one is right or wrong as all our lives lead back Home. Home to you might be back to your Gods Grace. It might be Heaven, Shamayim or Jannah, or you might believe your molecules breakdown and go back into the nitrogen cycle, back into the circle of energy or be reincarnated back into the Circle of Life. Your life experiences and your souls journey has led you to a belief system that works for you (which is why we should respect other peoples beliefs even if they are different to our own).

But whatever you believe requires a leap of faith. A belief in a power of something bigger then ourselves. But what I want you to consider is that actually the power comes from you.

If you need something and are religious you will pray for that thing to be brought to you. And ‘God’* will provide it for you. If you’re spiritual you’ll manifest the shit out of that thing until it appears. If you’re a scientist or an atheist you will work diligently to bring that thing to reality.

 *(I’m gonna keep saying God because it’s quicker than copying and pasting God/Allah/The Universal Power/etc/etc/etc)

But consider this: what ever your belief, you are the starting point. Your thoughts wishes and prayers are what pushes the thought out of your mind and into reality and the more you believe you will be provided for, the quicker that thing will be given to you. Because when you’re desperate for it, you put more power into the thought. So do you see that it is really just you that creates the faith? That the power is not external but rather something you push forward into the world with all the power, dedication and belief in your heart?

So consider this: you are enough. When we feel frustrated, or happy. When we feel rewarded or let down. Non of it matters. Because so long as you remember to have faith in yourself you will always be enough. You will always have enough. Because you have the ability to change. You have the ability to recognise what’s working for you and what isn’t. To shift your thoughts and your feelings and your habits. To create a life that makes you happy. Or sad. You shift your thoughts, have faith that change is possible, then you shift your life by waiting for that thing to materialise. But Faith is the key. And the stronger your faith is in your own power the easier your path will become.

Remember that your thoughts (or prayers) are the seeds that grow and faith is how we nourish them. So if you just remember that the more you have faith in yourself, the more you fill your heart up with love for yourself the easier it is for God/The Law of Attraction/Fate to provide all that you want or need. Your thoughts have power and faith is the driving force.

Lucky Bamboo

It’s frustrating isn’t it, when you have all these big dreams. When you work hard for years but sometimes feel like you’re not making progress. To everyone around you, you seem to be though. Maybe you have a nice family and a good car. A beautiful home and are well paid. A life to be envious of? But deep down, you still feel unsatisfied. For me the progress I’ve made doesn’t seem enough and I’m about to move into a £200k house! But if I’m honest, it’s just not enough. Because I have a very big vision of the world I want to live in. Yes it includes nice cars and homes, luxury holidays and designer stilettos. But actually, after spending 3 years working on my Money Mindset, I’ve come to realise, the money will always come but it’s the work that’s important. The money was my driving force but actually, my soul is yearning for something bigger. And that’s why I always feel unsatisfied. Because I feel unfulfilled.

So I pulled an oracle card for myself last night, in the hopes of some clarity, as you do; and as always, it hit the nail on the head. My deck is depicted with beautiful images of Kuan Yin (By Alana Fairchild). Kuan Yin is a Buddhist Diety often depicted with many arms, each holding a different tool. And that resonates with me because of the amount of different skills I have.

The beauty of Kuan Yin is that she never knows which tools are needed, she trusts that she will have the right one available when she needs it. Like a centipede with a hundred legs; she just trusts that she won’t fumble or get caught up in herself. She trusts her instincts and her journey and knows that she we be able to cope with whatever comes along. When you’re walking, you don’t have to think about what your legs, bones and muscles need to do, do you? You just walk and eventually you get to where you want to go. Kuan Yin has faith that she has the right tool and will know whats needed so she has faith that it will all turn out as it’s meant to, so why worry? (Analysis Paralysis we call it in the business world)

So I pulled this beautiful card and it talked about the power of bamboo. I’m pining for something bigger then myself right now which I find incredibly annoying and frustrating. Patients in not one of my virtues! But the card reminded me of Bamboo. For years it hides underground. Digging in its roots, absorbing the rain, building its strength. Changing on a cellular level. But from above, well it’s just dirt isn’t it? But once the timing is right, Bamboo goes through a massive acceleration and grows to massive heights seemingly overnight.

So what I wanted to say to you this week is: what if you (and I) just have faith that everything we need to support us is going on behind the scenes. And when the timing is right, everything and everyone will pop up just when it’s needed to help you grow into this amazing person the world needs you to be.

The acorn doesn’t panic it’s not going to become an Oak. It just accepts that’s where it will end up someday. So trust that you are growing, every single day. Everything you need will be provided, when the timing is right. Trust in the process. Gather your strength. And have faith that you’ll be ready when the time comes.

Oracle Deck by Alana Fairchild illustrated by Zeng Hao