I noticed something recently that was one of those aha light bulb moments but then you want to kick yourself for not thinking of it sooner. So lads, this will be a bit of obscure one, but stick with me, it’ll all make sense by the end, promise.
So obviously the year after you have kids your body has to repair and rebuild itself. But as a Mum your sleep deprived, hormones are all over the place, your stomach is doing its own thing, your boobs have a mind of their own, nothing fits while your body reshapes itself and just keeping on top of the housework is a major effort. So we often have no energy left to look after ourselves. We buy ‘that’ll do clothes’ because we know they’re only gonna get vomited on any way. So it’s easy to let yourself slip. Now twice I’ve had two kids in two years. So that exhaustion times a million. Worth it, don’t get me wrong, but it’s bloody hard too.
Now, im not one to let myself slip. I’ve studied the body and have always looked after mine as you would a cherished sports car. But what I did do was buy that’ll do bra’s. I’ll just wear these for a couple of months then get myself something nicer in the summer. Yeah right. I realised lately, to my shock and horror. I bought these bras after baby number 3. He’s now 3! Those bras have seen me through baby number 4s pregnancy too.
Now they’re not wrecked. But they certainly aint glamous either. But what I had failed to notice (and the reason for this blog) is they just didn’t fit right any more.
So what I realised was they dug in and it bugged me. All fucking day. Lads imagine wearing underpants a size too small. Then going the gym. To do squats. It’s bloody uncomfortable.
But like a lot of things you can’t immediately change, you just get used to it. That doesn’t mean it stop bugging ya. Instead of it being at the forefront of your thoughts, it gradually moves to the back of your head so it’s still there annoying you but you just don’t pay it any attention any more.
So getting pissed off with a daily bra choke hold, I took myself off to Victoria Secrets because I figured if im going to be wearing bras for years paying £40 for one is a good investment. I was sick of having ‘that’ll do’ underwear. My tired body deserved better.
And do you know what the next day when I put on my new bras it was bliss. I literally sighed with the relief. Girls you know at the end of the day when you take your bra off and go ‘ahhhh that’s better’ yeah it was like but in reverse.
And what really shocked me over the next few days was how much I was pissed off just because my bra’s were bugging me. I had this underlying irritation that was constantly annoying me and it was making me ratty and affecting my (and my kids) happiness big time and I wasn’t even aware of it! I was constantly in an irritated state which made me more narky as a parent.
Which got me thinking: well what the hell in my life is bugging me that im also putting up with? Which is I wanted to talk to you about. Does any of this sound familiar:
Shoes too tight but you wear them anyway? Hole in your socks but you keep forgetting to throw it away? Bought a different brand of coffee that you don’t like but drink it anyway? Piece of wall paper hanging off in a corner that bugs you every time you look at it? Reading a book that don’t enjoy but are trying to finish it regardless? Don’t like how busy the morning rush is in but can’t be arsed getting up earlier? I once deleted 5000 emails from my spam and the next day I felt like a big weight had been lifted. I couldn’t believe how something so intangible was dragging me down. Honestly its amazing the crap we put up with.
Do you want to know why?
Because we’re resilient. It’s in our nature to endure. That’s what makes us awesome and successful. But it’s also a hindrance.
There’s a wonderful story that’s always stuck in my head. Once upon a time a traveller was walking through some fields when he came to a farm. There was horrible howling sound coming from the dog lying on the porch. Worried sick and thinking the dog was dying the traveller rushed up to the farmer and asked ‘Is your dog ok?’
‘Oh yeah’ the famer laughs ‘He’s just laying on a stone. It doesn’t hurt him enough to move but it bothers him enough to moan about it all day’. Sound familiar?
I guarantee we all know someone who moans about everything. So lets not be like that dog. Lets get rid of the crap that’s bothering us. So here’s some homework: I want you to make a snag list of everything little thing that’s bugging you. All the stupid small stuff that annoys you just enough to bother you but not enough to actually do anything about it.
Well were gona change that. Once you’ve done a list stick it by your kettle. And every time you make a brew I want you to have a look at your list and think about how you can improve one thing. Start with the easy ones first. Once you start crossing stuff off your list you be amazed at how much happier you’ll feel. Do you know why? Because happiness is a choice. Always